I live near Sydney, a couple of beaches up from where Home and Away is filmed. It’s beautiful and I’m in the water every day. We get a lot of whales migrating down from Queensland – it’s not unusual in whale season to stand at any Sydney beach and see a breaching whale, but they’re normally 5km out to sea. I had never been any closer to one than that.

That changed on 25 October last year. It was a beautiful spring day, cloudless and sunny. I couldn’t wait to get down to the beach. It was blowing about 20 knots, perfect conditions for wing foiling. It’s a mix between kitesurfing and windsurfing – you hold on to a wing on a foil board out on the water.

I called a few mates to see if anyone wanted to join me, and two said yes. The three of us went out and got up on the foil. It was about 30 degrees outside and the water was balmy. There was hardly a cloud in sight. It felt serene. I caught two waves before going back to my van and getting my GoPro, clipping it to the pocket of my board shorts.

I then went back out into the water, past my friends. I caught the wind and headed about 300 metres off the coast, cruising over the waves. It’s much faster than surfing. It feels euphoric, like flying.

I was far out into the water, my mates a long distance away. I was getting ready to make a turn when I saw this dark shape come up in the water. I knew it wasn’t a shark or a turtle. It was just too big. As soon as I saw it, I thought: “That’s a whale.” My mind went completely blank. I felt sheer panic. There was no way out.

The whale breached the water and rose above my head, a big black shape that blocked out the sky – 20‑30 tonnes of humpback whale. I remember thinking: “This is not going to be good.” It shot up out of the water three metres to my right. Then it twisted in the air to land. That’s when it hit me on my shoulder, chest and head, and took me down with it. This all happened in about three seconds.

I was winded. It was just an incredible mass of weight and power. The closest thing I can compare it to is being hit by a bus. There’s just nothing your human body can do.

After a whale breaches, it dives. This whale dived deep, and I went down with it, my wrist still attached by a leash to my wing. The wing was on one side of the whale and I was on the other, so the leash caught and dragged me under. I was dragged down for about 15 seconds. I thought I was going to die.

Then the leash broke, freeing me. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t snapped. My body began to float back to the surface, and I swam back up as fast as I could, dragging myself back on to my board. The camera was still hanging there and had caught the whole thing.

I got back to shore as quickly as possible. A guy on the headland had been filming me and caught the moment I was hit. He called the emergency services because he thought he’d witnessed a death.

I went back to my van and took myself home. I could not stop shaking. I didn’t see the emergency services – as far as I could tell, I had no physical injuries besides a sore shoulder and arm, but I was really shaken up. I sent my wife a photo and said: “I’ve just been cleaned up by a whale.” She freaked out.

The video went viral, and I didn’t sleep for three days – news crews from all over the world were calling me. I met the actor Chris Hemsworth too, so some good things have come out of it.

Maybe it’s being a man, and the “Aussie talk” – we like to play it cool – but I told people I would get back in the water straight away. I didn’t. I was very drained. I had to watch the video so many times to believe it was all real.

It took weeks for me to get back in the water, and when I did it wasn’t the same. I didn’t have the same fearlessness I once had. If I see a shadow in the water, it scares me.

I know that the chances of it ever happening to me again must be a billion to one, but I just have that fear now – and might have to accept that it will be with me for ever. But the ocean is where I’ve always felt peace; I hope I can find it again.

As told to Millie Jackson

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